You’re not awkward — the world is | The Gray Area - November 18, 2025 -
We all know what awkwardness feels like. It's that jolt of discomfort when the social script breaks down, and no one knows what to do next. But what if awkwardness isn’t a flaw to fix but a window into how we live together? Sean’s guest today is Alexandra Plakias, associate professor of philosophy at Hamilton College and author of Awkwardness: A Theory. They talk about why awkwardness isn’t a personal problem but a social one, how power and privilege shape who gets to be awkward, and why our fear of discomfort often keeps us from saying what really matters.
This episode originally aired in November of 2024.
Host: Sean Illing (@SeanIlling)
Guest: Alexandra Plakias, associate professor of philosophy and author of Awkwardness: A Theory
0:00 Intro
11:59 It's okay to be uncertain
14:07 What is the difference between awkward and cringey?
19:46 What are the most common awkward experiences?
22:40 Awkwardness and self-deprication
28:04 What is the role of small talk?
31:02 Social life really is a performance
35:32 Death and money
39:50 We're social creatures and we want to belong
41:26 Who's responsible for alleviating awkwardness?
47:17 How to decrease awkwardness
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